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xheenim
02 November 2030 @ 01:50 am

I'm going to keep this very short and simple. There will be very, and I mean very random days when I will post rants and sometimes have a spazzing episode about anything.

Golden Rule #1 If I don't know you, join the club.
If you found my LJ from a forum, please let me know. I'm not a psychic.
Golden Rule #2 All rants and personal posts will either be FRIEND-LOCKED or PRIVATE.
Everyone deserves some form of privacy.
Golden Rule #3 Be nice. You be nice to me, and I shall reciprocate in kind...


The end.
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Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: ハオルの動く城 OST - 世界の約束
 
 
xheenim
24 October 2008 @ 01:17 am
Wow.  
Wow to the second degree. I feel bad for not updating my Livejournal often...although no one really reads them anyways but it's a nice place for me to rant or just be really random.


There are some things that people just need to get over; they need to realize that grudges only make them bitter and very self-centered when they believe they're always right and never wrong. Holding a grudge will only make you feel unrequited spite and bitterness towards people without realizing it. I mean, is it that hard to get over and just move on with your life? Look at yourself in the mirror for a good minute now and what do you see? Do you see a happy person in the mirror? I think I'd see someone who has too many shadows and a dark cloud looming atop the head.

Why ruin something that's fun for others because you don't want another person to receive the same fun as everyone else? Is jealousy and hate biting you in the ass that much? It obviously must be biting you in the ass to keep everything under your control. Just let it go already, move on with your life, and just let the past remain in the past. Don't keep it with the present or the future.

God, what an ahjumma.
 
 
Current Location: home
Current Music: 동방신기 - 주문 (MIROTIC)
 
 
xheenim
30 April 2007 @ 02:47 pm
Too long but never too late to write anything that many people will read anonymously yet only a few can respond with what they feel about. I haven't touched my LJ, it seems, like aeons but about four months more like yet it seemed longer. I don't know how it can feel like a long time and yet the time span doesn't make it any difference.

School is a drag but how else are we to make something of ourselves if we don't receive the proper education in order to become someone in society? Many graduate from school and automatically start to work, but in the long run they may regret the choices they make in not continuing with school; to get that degree that will help them along the way in finding a better job. I know that my major has changed once I left school, but I was thinking about what I can do without thinking about the "I cannot do this" thoughts.

Strange...how when one thinks so deeply upon a matter, it's like they can see their future flash before them; who they are and how they'll live the rest of his or her life without living at home sweet home. Someday I'll make my own place, my own little niche in the world where I can simply let everything go. Perhaps a home along the harbor in some different state where I can listen to the water crash upon the shore; but I must be careful of those rainstorms that bring in the waves. I wouldn't want my home to get destroyed and be taken out to sea. That'd be despair and sorrow, but we must all experience those pains once in a while. Some people experience it all the time.

I've been in pain, physically, emotionally, and internally. No, I'm not dying but the pain hurts once in a while when I least expect it. When it hurts, I feel really emotional and begin to cry or I feel like I need to puke what little I ate. Sometimes I wonder why I was born a girl; so I have to endure that bloody ordeal once every month in order to make babies for the next generation and beyond. But it's who I am, the person who is a part of this world to simply be...

I'm tired, hungry, and ready for some relaxation during the summer. Friends are coming home, I'll shed my tears of happiness and I can catch up with things that are better left talking face to face.

Oh look...I'm crying again.

Damn it.
 
 
Current Location: home
Current Mood: anything but normal
Current Music: KH 2: Organization XIII
 
 
xheenim
01 January 2007 @ 02:49 pm
So the year has changed to a new one...and a time for everyone to start a fresh new year for something more. I had a strange feeling about the new year coming, especially when it really didn't even FEEL like a new year to me.

I think this year will have some new happenings in my life, and particulary in how I will continue to travel down the path I chose for myself. So many new decisions which will somehow also shape out what I can accomplish in the future: to give me reason for what I dream to do.

Happy New Year of 2007, everyone.

Many dreams will begin...

...why not now while you still can? xD
 
 
xheenim
12 December 2006 @ 12:21 pm
Happy holidays to all and to all a good day. Well, it's more like "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night" but we're not at Christmas just yet. It's still that bubbly season where people go to buy a tree to decorate, to share sweet memories with chestnuts roasting on an open fire, or just enjoying life as much as they can. Everyone celebrates it differently from one another...no harm in that, no?

So...tis the season to be drunk, high, merry, and everything else you can think of. If you're underaged and you drink or smoke, you get caught don't say we didn't warn you of penalties. No one wants a black mark on their record during the holidays.

Until the next post...
 
 
Current Mood: Random
 
 
 
xheenim
28 November 2006 @ 08:29 pm
It's so hard to say goodbye to someone so precious in your life...one that helped you get through the tough times of parents separating and all the ups and downs of life. At home there is someone waiting there for you, with those puppy-eyes asking for a piece of your teriyaki chicken or to just get attention. I don't know how many times it will repeat in my mind of when I watched her slowly close her eyes after being given a shot to put her to sleep. I will cry and cry because she is so precious to me. And yet I won't realize how much until she's gone. She is gone now to a place where she will no longer suffer...where she can sleep in a world for eternity. To never see the chaos of the world...to be wrapped within a cocoon of protection in the clouds.

There will no longer be the annoying sound of her barking at me to receive mom's love. No more play buddy to make me laugh whenever she did a funny trick to keep a smile on everyone's faces. No more snoring which will match mom's snoring in turn. No more prancing down the hall like mom's shadow because she was like a shadow with her tail wagging and tongue hanging out from her toothless mouth. No more...nothing. It has all disappeared within the blink of an eye. It all seems like a dream when I think about the first day we saw her at the pound. She was lost, abandoned, and above all neglected of a family to protect her with love.

If there is one thing that will make me cry, it will be all the memories; no matter how vague they may be or how short of a time she was there for me...she has finally walked that stairway to heaven. She is in a safe haven now, and yet down here the haven we created for her will always have an empty void.

Always there in memory and in dreams. Our little Kiko who pulled through with so much suffering yet she was strong through everything. Always a fighter till the end.

I love you.

Goodbye.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
 
 
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: 동방신기 - 그리고...(Holding Back the Tears)
 
 
xheenim
12 August 2006 @ 08:21 pm
So two lovers can take a stroll along the park. Why not the sky? I'm sure if we had wings it would be possible to do so, yet with magic there's that special touch that gives it a special meaning.

There's a simplicity to life that we take for granted, and some times we don't realize it till it's too late and we can never take back our actions. The steps we take lead us closer to what we want to accomplish.



Walk along the parks, dances upon the air, and a single thing such as simplicity can mean so much.

If you don't like what you read, why read it and wallow in self-pity about it?
 
 
Current Mood: Sick
Current Music: Howl's Moving Castle OST - Sky Stroll
 
 
xheenim
03 August 2006 @ 10:54 am
So I've been putzing around more on Cyworld than I have with LJ because...well...Cyworld has more stuff for me to putz from. I just had some chocolate soymilk which pwns my life, and some H2O afterwards because I like drinking water. The only reason I drink carbonated drinks is to keep my energy up when I'm at work.

I had a weird dream...it involved my friend who now lives in Spain and it was quite odd. I'll leave it at that. No, there wasn't anything intimate, but there was this Alternate Universe kind of feel to it. Think about supernatural powers that aren't of the ordinary supernatural powers.

I'm on SuJu crack from Mystery6 because it's hilarious and not an ounce scary.

I LOVE IT!

And I'll stop here.

'Kay, love everyone. Bye.

"人知れず...my heart's a battleground" - Utada Hikaru
 
 
Current Mood: Random
Current Music: Utada Hikaru - Passion (KH2 Version)
 
 
xheenim
04 July 2006 @ 03:00 pm
So today is the 4th of July, and I feel bland at the moment. I'm browsing through all the songs I have on my mom's laptop, and they're taking me back into the days. The memories that I can't seem to forget about. They're the good and the bad, the happy and the sad. All of them just seem to collide into the other like they don't mean a thing.

I've slept in numerous hours and I feel weak still. I can't eat right, even when I'm hungry I can't eat without feeling sick. So I went overboard last night and I feel like my gut can just explode. My dog is old and yet I don't want to put her to sleep. And when I watch her, I realize she's a fighter. She's strong and will fight the heart murmurs she has, the ear infection which could've been fatal if we didn't take her to the vet when we did. The thought of losing something that has brought so much light into the darkness of my life is scaring me now. I don't want to lose that treasure so quickly.

For two years...soon to be three...she's been there like a thorn in my side but I love her all the same.

So I once asked myself: What do we fear?
-The death of a loved one?
-Realizing that love blinds you from everything?
-Falling in love with someone you'll never be with?
-Leaving the nest when it's time altough you don't want to leave?
-Friends going their ways and will eventually not keep in contact?
-Suicide?

One day these will all come into the light without regret or sorrow trailing behind me. I don't want to think about what the future can hold, there's so much negativity to it all and I despise it for making me so self-conscious of what can happen. Just live in the now and not the future. The future creates when you design that path.

I'm content, lost, and all the in betweens that keep me sane.

Good afternoon to a beautiful summer day.

And happy 4th of July to all.
 
 
Current Mood: thankful
Current Music: Se7en - One Time One More Time